


Of Plants and People

by EdosianOrchids901



Series: Plain Simple Prompts [41]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Dubious Morality, Established Relationship, Gardens & Gardening, Introspection, M/M, POV Elim Garak, POV First Person, Post-Canon Cardassia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 08:42:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16405088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdosianOrchids901/pseuds/EdosianOrchids901
Summary: Dialogue prompt: “Sometimes I wonder if I’m really cut out for this line of work.”





	Of Plants and People

**Author's Note:**

> Part of a series of ficlets based on dialogue prompts from Tumblr. Written 7/18.

It often seemed as if gardening came naturally to me. It wasn’t strictly some inherent talent – Tolan had taught me a great deal, and I’d learned even more through my own research. But there was something about it that felt as if it was what I was meant to do. I was content here, in the soil of my homeworld – even if said homeworld was still reeling from the devastation wreaked by our enemies.

In a way, my new role in our government came naturally as well. That was another half-truth. It had taken me years of studying the way people interacted, communicated, and reacted to achieve my current level of skill. If nothing else, my time in the Order had certainly prepared me well to handle stuffy diplomats and bureaucrats.

And that was the problem. It was now second nature to me to manipulate, to turn people to my purpose, to “persuade” them to do whatever I wanted. That ability unsettled me deeply, and I wondered if Cardassia would be better off with me simply tending to my plants.

Plants didn’t object to being guided, directed. In fact, many of them needed it. Working out their secrets and finding ways to coax them along didn’t mire me in moral quandaries, didn’t cause me to doubt my intentions. In fact, I thought with a darkly humorous bent, pruning away weeds and areas that compromised the health of the whole was considered a good thing!

Julian, who was sitting in the soil beside me and reading reports from his clinic, gave me a curious look. “Everything all right, Elim?”

“You know me too well, my dear Doctor.” Brushing dirt off my hands, I sat back with a sigh. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m really cut out for this line of work.”

Now looking vaguely baffled, he glanced between me and my flowers. “Gardening?”

“No, not _this_ line of work.” I flicked my hands towards the far-off cityscape, as if trying to rid myself of something unpleasant. “ _That_ work.”

“Oh, your role in the government.”

“Yes, my role in the government.” Shifting uncomfortably, I began to fiddle with the trowel beside me. “Do you think I do more harm than good?”

Taken aback by my directness, he cocked his head. “In what possible way could you be doing harm, Garak?”

“My mere presence, for one, not to mention my questionable decision-making when it comes to Cardassia’s safety.” I closed my eyes for a moment, almost getting lost in memories of those numerous poor choices. “It’s more insidious than that, though. I worry that I’m… simply using people again.”

Julian drew his knees up to his chest and rested his arms atop them. “Well, you’re certainly not just using me. Everything’s fine between us.”

“I don’t refer to you. I refer to the people with whom I interact for my work.”

“You’ve tried hard to cultivate awareness of your darker tendencies. Do you really think you’ve fallen back into old patterns?”

My instinctive answer was yes. Of course I had fallen into old patterns. I was merely the product of years of training, of being broken and reshaped into whatever role I needed to play. I lacked agency of my own – wasn’t it more likely that I was simply continuing to carry out Enabran’s wishes, even all these years after his death? I shivered, feeling the cold cruelty of his influence.

And then Julian’s warm, gentle hand closed around mine, drawing me back into the light of the present. I felt like I could breathe again, and some of the heaviness lifted from me.

“I worry that Tain’s ideals still affect me.” I rarely spoke on this topic anymore, choosing instead to focus on the day-to-day stresses of my life. And yet, at times like this, he loomed in the shadows. “It concerns me, to think that I might…”

“You’re not turning into your father, Elim.” Julian squeezed my hand, giving me a soft smile. “The mere fact that you’re worrying about this at all proves it.”

 “I try to keep a measure of myself. Of my interactions, of how I handle conflict. At times, I fall short of the person you seem to think I can be.”

“You’re not perfect, and neither am I. But you’re trying. That’s what matters, okay? And I trust you to keep a careful eye on yourself.”

A quiet laugh tore from me, and I gazed up at the sky. “It’s an odd sensation, to have someone truly trust me. Even after all these years, I still marvel at it.”

“Well, I do trust you.” He smiled, squeezing my hand again.

“That kindness deserves a kiss.” I brushed my lips against his and then drew him closer for more prolonged contact, grateful for his steadfast affection and reassurances.


End file.
